Understanding Unidentified Emotions (Bonus Ep.)

Liz Buggy: Have you ever felt a feeling within you that you cannot identify, that you cannot place and you do not know why it's there? This happens sometimes throughout our lives when we've lived through trauma, abuse, or even sometimes if our needs have been neglected as children. I have this wound around communities where I can show up and not feel safe. Other times I'm perfectly fine within the community, but if something happens to change the dynamics within that community or I feel threatened, misunderstood even, it can reignite those wounds. And this week that's happened. I've been struggling showing up, especially in group calls. My fear is around safety. I don't feel safe because one of my beliefs throughout my life was It's not safe to be me. Another one was I don't belong in this world. Throughout my life, those beliefs have dictated and it's been hard to change them, but it is possible. I was lucky enough to find a community that has supported me in changing those beliefs. Finally feeling safe enough to be open and vulnerable. Recently though, something happened within a different community and I no longer feel safe within that community. It's hard. There's a lot of emotions stirring inside. It comes down to basically being misunderstood, having my opinion basically dismissed, having my experiences minimised. And at times spoken to, even in a text message, the tone of it was quite condescending. patronising and a bit on the passive aggressive side as well. Misunderstandings often occur in life and it's not really a communication breakdown as such. It's how what we convey is perceived, which leads to the misunderstanding. So in my case, I didn't misunderstand the tone of the text messages. It was a case of yes, it triggered something in me. Yes, I've had to sit with it. I've had to sit with those feelings and deal with it. And ultimately, I am the only one that can react and respond to what this other person said, did, and I'm responsible for that. And I take ownership for that and how it sits with me. However, we need to understand that everyone has an opinion and everyone's opinions are valid. and we do need to listen to each other. We need to make people feel safe, understood, heard, seen. There's so much happening and it's easy to forget. It's easy to get lost in the noise. But firstly, we are human. We all have emotions. We all have experiences. We have parts of us that are unknown to other people. But what we need to do is try and be understanding. Try and be compassionate, try and be kind. So the message here is be aware of yourself, be aware of others. Consider the potential of what others have been through. Listen, try and understand. If you don't understand what they're trying to say, ask for clarity. Ask them to repeat it in another way so that you can understand. Don't just assume, because often assuming makes an ass out of you and me. So sitting with what's come up for me this week, as I said, I've had to sit with it. It's raised things from my past. I've had to sit with my three-year-old self, my 17-year-old self, to give them that love and understanding, to see them, to hear them, to hold them. Because as a child, as a teenager, that was lacking in their lives. So if you're experiencing something, take a step back from it. sit with it, feel it, and let those emotions clear. It can be easy to try and shut those emotions down. And emotions are just energy in motion. And when we have high intensity emotions, it's usually because something is trapped within inside the body and we need to find our release. Whether that's through dancing, gym, boxing, doing crazy shit. Allow yourself to release because hanging on to any anger, any stuck emotions can and will eventually destroy you. It will lead to self-hatred and possibly even self-harm. So be kind, be compassionate and be true to yourself. If something sits heavy, sit with it and deal with it. If you need support, reach out to people, talk to someone. There's always someone around that understands. They might not understand in the interim, but if you sit with someone long enough and talk it through, a problem is lessened and often it will be solved. So peace to you, my friend. Peace to you.